So I am sat here practicing modelled reading; that is to expressively read aloud. I'm using one of my own poems to practice. I am also googling red Ford Mondeos. All will become clear. It made me think though, think of all the useless things I look up on a daily basis. Aside from the Morrissey videos and make up tutorials I found myself keying the letters c-h-i-c-k-e-n-o-l-y-m-p-i-c-s. Yep, that's right. CHICKEN OLYMPICS. What an earth is going on there? Do you even want to know? (There was a slightly humorous advert with a chicken doing a triple jump.) The worst part of this is, I couldn't even find the Happy Egg Company advert where I saw it. What I did find was someone videoing chickens in a race.
Here you are, my pleasure etc.
Well the strange thing is, I could have thought about these chickens all day. I could have looked up breeds of chicken. I could have looked for another word to describe the chicken's feathers? pelt? who cares? How they pecked angrily around nonchalantly crossing the finishing line. Think up a half rhyme for Usian Bolt. What for exactly? I don't know but it gives me something to talk about here. So if I think of these things on average 468 times a day, what else do I do?
Eventually, I found an image of a red mondeo. It isn't even that exciting.
An Apology to the Great Red Shark
It served me well
travelled
for fifty thousand miles.
Was spacious
bright;
The Great Red Shark.
Bumper cracked,
dented
wing, but.
But I’m sorry
it just had to go.
Be replaced
with something
so cool
so old.
At the time of writing this, I was well and truly in the throes of love for William Carlos Williams. Something about tangible everyday object you say? YES please I say. When I asked @timkeypoet what his favourite poem was he told me it was 'This Is Just To Say'. It is safe to say I am now in throes of writerly admiration for Tim Key.
Stop me if you've heard this one before but my guess is you won't have. It's a rare event when one of Britain's finest cultural icons offers to pen our Eurovision song contest entry. For the philistines amongst you 'Stop me if you've heard this one before' is one of Morrissey's most loved songs entered the charts for the second time around, being covered by that forgotten DJ; Mark Ronson. Nothing's changed, we still love him, his music is as relevant today to whenever it was released. Another great fan of Morrissey and The Smiths is Tory cool kid David Cameron. I know the Tories don't like talking about Europe but I'm sure he'd agree with me here that Morrissey is a perfect candidate for the Eurovision Song Contest. Anyway politicians will do anything to look "cool"
A credible competitor for a credible competition? I'm supporting Morrissey as our representative for the Eurovision Song Contest. What exactly does that phrase mean to you? Do those three words: Eurovision Song Contest send a chill through your heart?… Are you immediately arranging an evening out?… Or is your heart racing at the thought of a night in with some cheap booze and Terry Wogan?… So, what is it you do on that night? (wait for an answer and when none are forthcoming carry on)… I'm suggesting that we regain some credibility in this competition that our European neighbours take so seriously and enter Morrissey as our representative for not only an interesting evening but also something to talk about over a pint with no cigarettes in the pub.
What is the Eurovision Song Contest?…A symbol of Europe?…When I last looked I couldn't find a country called Europe! Only last month we saw our European neighbours celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of the founding of the European Union. Our local European capital cities celebrated this with free concerts, beer, sausages and televised parties. Probably Britain sipped tea and watched x-factor. Where were our free concerts? Where were the celebrations? Moreover, where were documentaries and articles celebrating our place in Europe? Here is our chance to watch an international version of a talent show, a format the ratings tell us we all love.
It strikes me that the rest our continent take Europe and the Eurovision Song Contest seriously. Why do we view it as slightly 'naff' and tacky? Is it because every year recently our entrant has been somewhat laughable? Our nation voting for page three model, Jordan, to represent us. A Eurovision winner isn't just a pretty face with curves to kill but someone who represents us as a nation. The BBC have drawn out unknowns over the past couple of years hinting at a slight chance of fame. Pop Idol contestants that failed at the last hurdle are the cuisine of the day for our entries into the Eurovision. Javine ranking not so highly in twenty second place and Jessica Garlick finishing in a more respectable third place. Still didn't you feel ashamed that we came in last when 'Jemini' sang, out of key I hasten to add, their Top Seventy Five hit 'Cry Baby' to an appalled set of judges across Europe who all gave us 'nil points'? Perhaps we don't like it because we have become a nation of bad losers so maybe the easiest answer is to ridicule the whole thing.
Our national psyche is about losing and loss. We don't like to take things too seriously so therefore we don't try. We are good at cricket, reasonable at football and renowned for our wealth of musical talent. So why don't we try! Try! Try taking the Eurovision Song Contest seriously! If we did try and still lost there would probably riots and punch ups or blaming the referee for a bad decision. My god it doesn't bear thinking about Eurovision hooligans throwing cheap chardonnay at each other and ripping up the hospitality suite – at least that would be a bit more "rock and roll"(On an entirely separate note I entered 'Eurovision bad boys into google images and this is what it had to say...)
So is it really any wonder that Morrissey was horrified but not surprised to see the United Kingdom fail again in the Eurovision Song Contest after the disgraceful sham of rapping metalwork teacher; Daz Sampson with 'Teenage Life'. More importantly the question he keeps asking is "Why don't they ask me?" We need him to help us regain a little credibility. So let's refresh this tired old system and re brand in the hope that we can retain just a little credibility? An opportunity not to be surpassed, surely?
Perhaps he wants to emulate his idol, Sandie Shaw who won the contest some forty years previously with 'Puppet on a String'. We need a serious contender for a serious competition. It's a recipe which seems to work for us. Sandie Shaw was a very successful female artist in the sixties. With such hits behind her as "(There's) Always Something There to Remind Me" and "Long Live Love" she was an artist to be taken seriously in the contest which gained Britain it's first Eurovision win.
What do Sandie Shaw and Morrissey have in common? A loyal fan base? Always a good base like flour for our recipe. A reputation that precedes them? Like an egg it binds it all together with a pinch of mutual admiration to add a little spice to the mixture. Why don't we cook something a little surprising? Heaven knows we're sick of all the fizzy pop now.
We must not forget either that another northern icon, Lulu, won the Eurovision again for us in 1969,with "Boom bang-a-bang", because it ended in a draw between the United Kingdom, France, The Netherlands and Spain it is not remembered as much. Lulu had already gained fame from several television series of her own and her infamous teenage hit "Shout!" and appeared to be a serious contender for a serious competition.
This isn't Morrissey's first crush on the Eurovision either. In the video for "You Have Killed Me" he plays an entrant wining the 1970 contest, showing his love along with his desire to enter the competition. I couldn't find a video so please have my favourite Moz picture instead.
For those of you who really don't know much about him – He was born in 1959 and raised in Hulme, a suburb of Manchester to Irish Catholic immigrants. It was in 1982 when he formed The Smiths which led to worldwide success and fame. The Smiths are now regarded as one of the most influential bands to come out of the United Kingdom. The NME, his sworn enemy since the early 1990s, last year voted him "most influential artist ever". Even the Sun saw fit to write a rave review of last year's first British gig in years and declare Morrissey officially "back". Now having recorded four studio albums with Johnny Marr in The Smiths including the critically acclaimed and highly controversial "The Queen is Dead". Placed along with eight solo albums and four compilations of his solo work it's a seriously impressive discography. I view him as a serious musician as do his long list of famous fans such as Alan Bennett, actress Kathy Burke and author Will Self. I'm sure he can accrue some of the judges as fans too. Nor is he a stranger to large crowds, from the Manchester Free Trade Hall via the Newport Centre to Paris and Las Vegas. Even choosing to celebrate his own birthday on May the twenty second with eighteen thousand fans in the Manchester Evening News Arena in 2004… More importantly Morrissey's reputation as a witty lyricist and great performer strides in front of him, gaining us a little respect before he evens opens his mouth. An important feature like this certainly can't be ignored. Morrissey is renowned for his political stance and his strong opinions on such subjects as vegetarianism and immigration but we must not forget how he is equally intrigued by the idea of a performer. He does not care for the dance routines of such clichéd pop acts but for the performance that the sixties girl groups ,such as The Shirelles and The Shangri-La's, laid on which fascinated him as a teen. A priority for Morrissey is that he puts on the best show for his fans, fulfilling his vocation as a performer completely. There are very few performers who could pull of the perfect recipe for a hit. A good song performed well with an intense presentation will give the United Kingdom a strong position from the outset.
A distinctive character such as Morrissey will also be remembered fondly as he is already for his National Heath Service spectacles and his affection for wearing a hearing aid around his neck. All these aspects count as to why the Stretford Bard should be considered seriously as our entrant. His performances and props reflect a culture and society that appears to have a rose tinted glow. It was a time when people and even the state recognised that people's lives mattered. It was even a time when the state thought education was important so they actually paid higher education tuition fees. Lets draw out a strong player in the performance world and give Europe a new vision!
Morrissey, known for his bleak satire, came second to nature television god Sir David Attenborough in the vote for the greatest British living cultural icon, acquiring fans such as radio broadcaster Jeremy Vine, playwright Willy Russell and author JK Rowling over the course of his twenty five year career, whether it be solo or with Johnny Marr and his former band mates in The Smiths. The legion of Morrissey fans cross the channel and span Europe even further to the United States and beyond. His cult icon status shows that every single one of his fans feels something in common with the "Mozfather" whether or not they are from some rainy Manchester suburb with a reasonable education or living on the streets of Mexico City. The diversity amongst his fans is a great factor helping to sway the undecided nations. He is a figure who causes discussion and debates whatever his move is. I'm sure many of his fans will want to unite and take over this cause. He could stand on behalf or the people of Britain representing how we feel. The unique ability Morrissey has is the ability to express the hopes and aspirations of people of all ages.
Does it matter that he now lives out in Los Angeles? Should it matter that he lives abroad? I believe that allows him to globalise his philosophy and add to his and our understanding of the way the world works. Many famous Brits have lived abroad – Byron in Italy and Greece, Auden and Isherwood in Berlin, even Dickens spent some time in the States. It didn't do them much harm. Is a bit of sun and glamour doing Morrissey any harm? No! Well actually Byron died in a war in Greece so perhaps Morrissey had better watch where he goes in LA and avoid dark alleys late at night. Even so, he still remains quintessentially British, he has experienced the government, education and national health systems first hand. Remember! He still loves us!
We need a powerful ingredient to throw into the mixture. Is Morrissey our spice 'du jour' for our recipe for success? Perhaps he just HAS earned it yet [baby].
After many disputes with the British media he stands defiant of his enemies. Almost welcoming critics and tempting them to appreciate and understand him. A tactic he could employ on even the most sceptical of judging panels for our national benefit. Many years of misinterpretation caused him to be pilloried by the press but he always answered back with songs. Returning, standing defiant with a Tommy gun, ready to dash his enemies hopes with words on the cover of his album "You are the Quarry" after an absence of five years the press still welcomed him back! So should we. He could show Europe exactly how we feel.
Two things need to happen.
Firstly we need to decide whether we really want to win the Eurovision song contest. I certainly do! I'm sure that secretly you would be proud too. We need to tap into this vein where the blood is reddest and richest to transfuse life into a diseased method of choosing our entrant.
If not let's accept that like football, cricket and even rugby the British don't want to win. We prefer to laugh at those who take these things too seriously or sneer at those who prepare, sacrifice and train to gain success. It is about time that those in control of us noted their own weasel words about needing to work hard, achieve high standards and identify quality when it comes to our national image.
Secondly we need to choose Morrissey as our representative. Even if he doesn't win he would still be the best and we would have an even better reason for ridiculing the poor quality of the judges.
C'mon! Its about time we made our minds up so that we can offer congratulations to this years puppet on a string!
You can't go anywhere these days for talk of Rimmel London's Apocalips. So I broke out the trusty advantage card and succumbed to the hype. I used five hundred and ninety-nine loyalty points on what is heralded as a travesty in the beauty blogosphere: it works as a lipstick as well as a gloss, marvellous!
Here is celestial. Currently there is a 3 for 2 offer on Rimmel in Boots, but isn't there always?. (Buy it here). It has a lovely doe foot applicator where the gloss oozes from a hole in the middle; a liquid lipstick if you so desire.
Now, from previous experience I have learned that a lip liner is required, particularly with a strong shade of lipstick, gloss or lacquer. I pushed out the proverbial boat out and bought a MUA lip liner. I'm still marvelling at the nifty little sharpener built into the lid. It really is a wonderful idea. I bought
mine in store at Superdrug, so not to worry this isn't a rant about their delivery or the rather abrupt social media faux-pas that happened earlier this week.
Ooooooooh cliffhanger...
I've left you wondering what else I hauled from the Rimmel counter, never being one to miss a bargain...
The latest sparkle in the nail department. There are three shades available, all with suitably witty colour codes: Hawaiian Punch, Berry Bellini and a fearless bright orange toned glitter called Shirley Temple.
I opted for Hawaiian Punch, it appears red at first but it really is a bright anodised pink. I can't wait to try it!
The only other item I redeemed in the three for two offer was Rimmel Scandaleyes waterproof kohl in smokey violet. I am addicted to these liners, they give a lovely effect with a long lasting hold. I'd recommend them to anyone and everyone!
I'll take my leave but I'd love to know if you haven taken advantage if this offer, what did you get?
Even though it looks like Christmas it isn't. The big thaw is happening right now and the winter wonderland scenery is dissolving into a big black mush. My bare nails are lamenting the days of the red, gold and green glitter polishes, but they're just too festive right?
I had the chance to try out a premium nail polish from the James Bond special edition. I decided to try the gold shatter top coat. The internet raves about these polishes so it was about time I gave them a try.
ALWAYS A SUCKER FOR A FUNNY NAME!
You can buy Die Another Day on Amazon here for £7.54 + postage and packaging.
It is a beautiful orange red colour and the varnish is thick and luxurious. I was impressed with how well the brush applied the polish.
However, I was not so impressed with the gold shatter top coat.
As you can see in the picture on the right, the varnish was too thick to crackle effectively. It looked nothing like it was supposed to look, just a thick glittery coating with a tiny weak spine running its course just left of centre.
I'm glad I had only borrowed it. I have previously tried Boots 17 crackle top coat and it had a much better effect.
The thing is, I'm far to addicted to a little finger tip sparkle, even if it isn't the party season anymore.
What colours are you wearing? I need a fresh, but glittery look. Leave me comments with links to yours!
This week was hard, I'm not going to lie; having three weeks off for Christmas was an absolute killer! I enjoyed every second of it, but this week has been so hard. Getting back into the routine and all that!
So I decided that I would do a post on my everyday make up for work. I tend to stick to the basics everyday, then go to town when I have something special on. This is my work look.
The lovely lady who introduced me to beauty boxes: Romany over on Me, Mitch, Monty and Munchables has tagged me in a Liebster Award post. Seeing as I'm new to beauty blogging I grabbed the opportunity by the guilded beams and easily thought of 11 things about me. That's what tradition means, but you want to know things about me, not Morrissey. A double challenge, you say? BRING IT ON!
11 facts about me.
(I don't use the word random, unless absolutely necessary.)
I have an acronym of a sweary phrase tattooed on my back.
People always expect me to know about films. I only watched Fight Club in 2012 under duress.
On the other hand I read The Da Vinci Code and the entire twilight saga to dynamically express why and how it was utter tripe. Needless to say I did not go as far as 50 Shades.
I've started something and now I'm not too sure.....
Oh 18 minutes hard labour seems...fair enough.
5. I completed Juiced 2: Hot Import Nights on the Xbox 360 twice.
6. I am hyper flexible and can touch the inside of my arm with my thumb.
7. Another venture with a gesture that was absolutely vile; selling my soul to Apple moons ago.
8. My front teeth are porcelain.
(On the upside my absolute phobia of the dentist has waned).
Typical me, typical me, typical me.
9. I never tire of taking pictures of myself pulling silly faces.
10. I was once in the Daily Mail talking about OCD and got paid £200 for it.
11. I know I wear too much blusher.
My Questions from Romany:
How old are you? 31.
What is your first memory? Pretending to do aerobics to fit Lizzie from TVAM? with my mum in a blue dressing gown.
Who would play you in a movie of your life? Jessica Hynes. She likes pulling silly faces too.
What is your favourite book? L.P Hartley - The Go Between.
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?
BUBBLE AND SQUEAK FTW!
Do you have any hobbies? Does making and taking photographs of lego dioramas count?
Where is your favourite place in the world? Manchester.
Do you have any interesting scars? I was bitten by Lassie and needed 38 stitches in my arm. I have stretched freckles all over my right forearm.
Do you have any phobias?
DO NOT MENTION THE L-WORD!
I can't think of anything more frightening apart from The Smiths reforming. That, readers, is my worst nightmare.
Do you have any pets? A seagull that lands on my windowsill. His name is Frank.
Pirates or ninjas? Pirates. I have a bigger pirate vocabulary, I wouldn't know what ninjas say.
Now my questions...
1. What is your favourite poem?
2. What beauty item could you not live without?
3. Kindle or book?
4. How many nail polishes do you have?
5. Any tattoos?
6. Any regrets?
I'll tag some of the blogs I like reading! Do a post if you like, just leave your link in the comments box below. #sharethelove
It served me well
It served me well
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